she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
