I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
