you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
