I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
