Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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