she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
