My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
