i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
