Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
