Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
