Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
