last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
