So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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