She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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