The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
