I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
