a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm too high and old for this...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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