Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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