i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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