it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
