Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
