He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
