I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
