Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
