The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
