I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
