Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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