Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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