Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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