Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
