let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
