There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
