I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
