Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
