I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
