That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Randomize
