dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
