"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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