Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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