I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
