remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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