yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
