You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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