I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
