I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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