Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
