direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
