Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just blew my weed a kiss
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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