On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
