after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
