I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just invented taco cereal.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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