Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
