Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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