Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
